London has already come and gone but good times were had despite being 10 metres ahead of my mother at all times. She stopped to take pictures of every street sign that was on the monopoly board and the iconic London pub before she realised they were in fact on every corner.
I've learnt a few things in London. First on all, if you’ve got a friend who has been there for the last 3 years, they now sound like a total twat with their quasi-British accent. Yes, I’m looking at you Sam. Also, I’m huge celebrity in London. So much so that a group of Asian tourists wanted to take photos with me at Trafalgar Square. At first I thought they wanted me to take a picture for them but no. I was in about 6 photos as they all rotated and swapped cameras and kept saying how beautiful I was. I was feeling a little down that day so it was a very nice ego booster. Speaking of celebrity, I also saw Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber at Sister Act. I knew there was someone “special” at the show as the ushers were hanging about in weird places. Ushers have telepathic abilities, so I could feel that there was something going down. Then I saw him when they rushed him out of the auditorium just prior to the curtain. It’s no secret that I wanted to trip him and could have easily done so being seated on the aisle. But imagine what were to happen to the future of music theatre if I were to do so? The mind boggles.
Another show I saw was Priscilla. That’s right, I couldn’t help myself. And I really enjoyed it. The guy that played Felicia was an appalling little queen with a shocking aussie accent to match. The others were really pretty good- except Bob. Played by John Bowe, this guy played it so hammy and desperate. So not right. I saw Bill Hunter come on stage drunk most nights (if he did come on) and he still kicked this guys arse. Pull your socks up John Bowe.
A short 2 hour train trip and we’re in Paris. First of all we climbed the Eiffel Tower. Well ok, maybe not quite. We decided to take the stairs and just past the first level mum started to get a little vertigo-y and so down we headed back down. Mum fail. Just now we’ve came back from the Louvre. I’ve been before and I like it but everyone’s so pushy, it gets really hot and stuffy and you realise that the Mona Lisa is just ‘meh’. But I did see Cathy Freeman there- that was the highlight for me. She’s looking at little tubby, to be honest I think she’s preggers but that’s no excuse! I know that cat suit is stretchy but that tum ain’t gonna hide itself Cathy.
After the Louvre, we went to Free’p’star the most amazing op shop in the world! I don’t wanna talk it up too much but it really is. All the crap has been weeded out and it’s pretty damn cheap too. Not dirt cheap but still totally awesome. You should see the dress I bought! I dunno when I’ll have any reason to wear it but doesn’t every girl need a gold lamé dress?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Goodbye Gotham
Now, not many of you would know that I’ve been living with contradictory, passive aggressive, rude old bitch named Susan for the past 6 weeks and it was pure hell. Here are a few of my favourites moments:
After I saw Next To Normal (a musical about a woman with bipolar) she asked my what I thought. I said it was good but I didn’t understand the hype. She then told me that I mustn’t have known anyone with emotional problems and that I hadn’t really experience life yet. Ok. Good to know.
After being locked out of the house (she dead bolted the door for which I don’t have a key) I saw her on the street and ran up to her rather hot and fluster for I’d been locked out for an hour. After only seconds of telling her that I’d been locked out, she started berating me for being upset and that I needed to handle my emotions better and I could have just called her because she has her phone on her at all times. I then told her that I had in fact called approximately 6 times. Then she immediately went on a tirade about my bad behaviour.
She was firstly referred to me asking her to make sure that my laptop remained plugged in, should she need to move it (as she often did). I might add that I went out of my way not to appear rude when asking this. In fact I would go as far as saying I was inches away from becoming a doormat. I was disgusted in myself. I spoke softly, raised the pitch of my voice and added in a lot of wincing looks and shoulder shrugs. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter how I said it. Merely the fact that had asked anything of her was shocking to her. How dare I? Never mind the fact that she would continually move my things around and I never bated an eye. She went on lecturing me for the next 5 minutes. Here’s a brief transcript; “You were very rude to me with your computer. You could have said it a lot nicer. You have to respect a person’s home. I have never experienced someone as rude as you. Your generation… (I started to tune out). I don’t know about we’re you’re from but… (again with the tuning out). You need to learn how to cope with things. I’m a nice person. I look after dogs and babies. My son went to Yale.” I’m really not joking about that last part. She really thinks because she’s a dog walker/ baby sitter it makes her a better person than everyone else. And she continually brings up the fact that her son went to Yale and owns it as if she went there herself.
Biting my tongue during this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. After all, I had to continue living with this woman and I did not want to make it harder than it already was. After this fight she started locking her bedroom door when she left the apartment. That I really enjoyed. Although happy to yell and scream at me, she was fearful that I would act out and steal from her. Quite satisfying really.
She asked me not to put any of my bags on the bed because bed bugs are an epidemic in New York and that I could get them off people on the subway. If that’s the case, aren’t they going to be also in my clothes? Just a thought. These is just some of the dozens of incidents that occurred though I feel as though any further venting will result in you tuning out.
For everyone interested in my neurological process, I did end up seeing the neurologist and subsequently getting an MRI. And yes, I was given the all clear. Hooray. It’s nice to know I spent all that money for nothing. I almost wanted there to be something wrong- not just stress. Yes yes, I know most of you told me that would be the case but when your lips go numb, you tend to get concerned.
My time at Ward Studios is over- for now at least. The teacher is starting a school in Melbourne so some of you aussies will hear more about it sooner or later. It was an amazing/ exhausting experience and I feel I am more than deserving of my holiday that is to come. Speaking of my holiday, mum arrived a few days ago and so tourist hell ensued. Subway to Battery Park- $2.25. Statue of Liberty ticket $12. Waiting in line for 2 hours in direct sunlight. Priceless.
So now it’s time for the New York rap up. Here’s a couple of things I’ve learnt during my time here:
America is filthy. Literally. There’s trash (that’s American for rubbish) everywhere and people are happy to add to it. I saw a woman sit her empty drink bottle on a parking meter with a bin only 2 metres away.
Never give an American girl an Australian tampon. I did this and scared the crap out of someone. “What is this? A bullet?” She was pretty much disgusted by the fact that we didn’t use applicators to insert them. Again I say, suck it up America.
Harlem is super cool but of course a white girl will tend to stick out. So much so that a friend of mine got followed home. She just waiting for the moment she stepped off the main street to presumable mug her. Luckily she’s smarter than that and he eventually gave up. Harlem, you live up to your reputation.
There’s a lot of busking and begging on the subway. If you’re lucky, you’ll see the troupe of young men who do no holds barred break dancing. Popping, locking, flips. Truly awesome stuff. All while hurdling through tunnels at 90 kms an hour. Which brings me to a cliché that I found undoubtedly true. New Yorkers are not phased by anything! During this impromptu breaking dancing session, one of the boys used the handrails to flip upside down, leaving his feet all which inches of a man reading. Who didn’t even flinch.
Black guys will openly sing to whatever they’re listening to on their ipods. I’m so jealous. I wonder if I could do the same thing back home but substitute rap for music theatre?
So it’s time to move on. New York was a fucking hard slog but I’m so glad that I did it. I’ve met some truly fantastic people here that I really worry I’ll never see again- you know who you are.
After I saw Next To Normal (a musical about a woman with bipolar) she asked my what I thought. I said it was good but I didn’t understand the hype. She then told me that I mustn’t have known anyone with emotional problems and that I hadn’t really experience life yet. Ok. Good to know.
After being locked out of the house (she dead bolted the door for which I don’t have a key) I saw her on the street and ran up to her rather hot and fluster for I’d been locked out for an hour. After only seconds of telling her that I’d been locked out, she started berating me for being upset and that I needed to handle my emotions better and I could have just called her because she has her phone on her at all times. I then told her that I had in fact called approximately 6 times. Then she immediately went on a tirade about my bad behaviour.
She was firstly referred to me asking her to make sure that my laptop remained plugged in, should she need to move it (as she often did). I might add that I went out of my way not to appear rude when asking this. In fact I would go as far as saying I was inches away from becoming a doormat. I was disgusted in myself. I spoke softly, raised the pitch of my voice and added in a lot of wincing looks and shoulder shrugs. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter how I said it. Merely the fact that had asked anything of her was shocking to her. How dare I? Never mind the fact that she would continually move my things around and I never bated an eye. She went on lecturing me for the next 5 minutes. Here’s a brief transcript; “You were very rude to me with your computer. You could have said it a lot nicer. You have to respect a person’s home. I have never experienced someone as rude as you. Your generation… (I started to tune out). I don’t know about we’re you’re from but… (again with the tuning out). You need to learn how to cope with things. I’m a nice person. I look after dogs and babies. My son went to Yale.” I’m really not joking about that last part. She really thinks because she’s a dog walker/ baby sitter it makes her a better person than everyone else. And she continually brings up the fact that her son went to Yale and owns it as if she went there herself.
Biting my tongue during this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. After all, I had to continue living with this woman and I did not want to make it harder than it already was. After this fight she started locking her bedroom door when she left the apartment. That I really enjoyed. Although happy to yell and scream at me, she was fearful that I would act out and steal from her. Quite satisfying really.
She asked me not to put any of my bags on the bed because bed bugs are an epidemic in New York and that I could get them off people on the subway. If that’s the case, aren’t they going to be also in my clothes? Just a thought. These is just some of the dozens of incidents that occurred though I feel as though any further venting will result in you tuning out.
For everyone interested in my neurological process, I did end up seeing the neurologist and subsequently getting an MRI. And yes, I was given the all clear. Hooray. It’s nice to know I spent all that money for nothing. I almost wanted there to be something wrong- not just stress. Yes yes, I know most of you told me that would be the case but when your lips go numb, you tend to get concerned.
My time at Ward Studios is over- for now at least. The teacher is starting a school in Melbourne so some of you aussies will hear more about it sooner or later. It was an amazing/ exhausting experience and I feel I am more than deserving of my holiday that is to come. Speaking of my holiday, mum arrived a few days ago and so tourist hell ensued. Subway to Battery Park- $2.25. Statue of Liberty ticket $12. Waiting in line for 2 hours in direct sunlight. Priceless.
So now it’s time for the New York rap up. Here’s a couple of things I’ve learnt during my time here:
America is filthy. Literally. There’s trash (that’s American for rubbish) everywhere and people are happy to add to it. I saw a woman sit her empty drink bottle on a parking meter with a bin only 2 metres away.
Never give an American girl an Australian tampon. I did this and scared the crap out of someone. “What is this? A bullet?” She was pretty much disgusted by the fact that we didn’t use applicators to insert them. Again I say, suck it up America.
Harlem is super cool but of course a white girl will tend to stick out. So much so that a friend of mine got followed home. She just waiting for the moment she stepped off the main street to presumable mug her. Luckily she’s smarter than that and he eventually gave up. Harlem, you live up to your reputation.
There’s a lot of busking and begging on the subway. If you’re lucky, you’ll see the troupe of young men who do no holds barred break dancing. Popping, locking, flips. Truly awesome stuff. All while hurdling through tunnels at 90 kms an hour. Which brings me to a cliché that I found undoubtedly true. New Yorkers are not phased by anything! During this impromptu breaking dancing session, one of the boys used the handrails to flip upside down, leaving his feet all which inches of a man reading. Who didn’t even flinch.
Black guys will openly sing to whatever they’re listening to on their ipods. I’m so jealous. I wonder if I could do the same thing back home but substitute rap for music theatre?
So it’s time to move on. New York was a fucking hard slog but I’m so glad that I did it. I’ve met some truly fantastic people here that I really worry I’ll never see again- you know who you are.
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